*ladies buy these sexy perfumes. light blue intense for the summer. if you are a middle eastern woman like kim kardashian buy roses musk if you are a young innocent actually virgin buy la belle by jean paul gaultier and if you are an emotional woman that always screams at her boyfriend then buy scandal by jean paul gaultier yes okay i got 10 seconds left i wanna say regards guys this is munich i like it this the errr munich this is munich and this is also very famous. my heart beats for miami i want to have a girlfriend soon i’m really preciously looking now for a girlfriend i want to find the right one and who knows if that’s you if possible that is watching right now
Fuck I hate living with men. I hate listening to the bullshit they spin. I hate their lack of personal hygiene. I hate how self centred and self absorbed they can be.
I have not dated or tried to have any type of romantic connection with a man since 2019 and I have full confidence that there’s no chance that will change for at least another 3 years. Absolutely terrible concept. 0 stars
*I’ve gone to the gym 9 times in the last 27 days, that’s not bad for a newbie who had an existential crisis about womanhood a week in and then had a huge stye/swollen eye in the 3rd week. It’s genuinely fucked how much of a difference I can see in my muscles and how much better I feel about having something to work towards, use as a measure of growth within my physical and mental health and also gain some much needed esteem from my commitment and consistency. I love it!!! And I also love that I’m not fussed about trying to eat little calories and burn as much as I can. I eat so well and so many different things that I sometimes find it hard to eat enough to support what I’m doing each day. Who is she? Can u believe I put it off for this long? To be fair I’m paying over $100 a week for coaching, training and the gym but that’s my investment baby!!!
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Ok I’m coming on here to whinge. Maybe it’s the load of drugs I did Friday but fuck I’m just not sure what I’m doing. Job is okay but it’s kinda hard to feel sure when you’re doing something new and there’s no real procedure for anything. It feels like I’m trying to get info out of my bosses head and onto paper but it’s not easy. It’s good money, I can walk to work and work from home but it’s still not enough. I miss the culture in an office of younger people and a collective misery in what we do everyday. I don’t think anyone I work with is born in the 80s they just skipped that decade so there’s a gap between me and my team socially and then the people my age are so smart and normal. They’ve never put anything up their nose I’m sure. Feeling like a bit of an imposter and that isn’t helping feeling so lost without summer. She wants me to come visit and it’s making me so anxious to ask work for 3 weeks off. I would work remotely too but I’d rather not. Time is ticking to book flights and a trip to Greece would be unreal but I half hope it isn’t a thing because what if it’s so good I can handle being back here? I have so many thoughts of working until may next year and saving money and then travelling for as long as I can. I never had these thoughts a few months ago but it’s unreal to see your best friend carving a new path on the other side of the world alone. It’s seriously so cool and I’m beyond proud but I really wish I was there with her. I am so fat and find it so hard to wanna show face to the world. I say this to everyone but it’s just winter! That’s why people are sad or noncommittal they’re in a slump! So I guess I have to say it to myself too but I’ve forgotten how to get things done and want things for myself. I have lost my drive but I hope that coke October that extra daylight will do something for my soul
*I’m so sick of spending time alone like I want options. I wanna choose to be alone I don’t want that to be my only choice. It seems like I don’t have two friends to rub together at this stage in my life. I have two tickets to Peggy Gou I bought in 2019 and it’s finally been rescheduled after covid and I quite honestly have no one I can go with. Fair enough I forgot it was on and maybe asked too late (is the week before that late?!) but it’s sorta bumming me out. I guess when ur conscious of what ur lacking and believe that to be the reason why u feel lonely and shitty, ur gonna use that as the excuse or reason. I still feel so beyond where I was before the pandemic, my life looks nothing like it did and I’m at a loss for how to get things on track. Do I need a job that stimulates me more? Something I’m proud to discuss with new people? Am I feeling inferior I have fewer meaningful friendships and experiences I can take pride in? Do I need a new environment with new people so I can learn to socialise again and feel independent? I don’t know but that’s what I’m aiming for but even that’s such a struggle. I can’t find anywhere to move, when I do get an interview for a room which is like 1 in 10 messages about an ad, I’m not successful. Rejection is likely in this process and I’m keeping it in mind but 2.5 months of searching and I still haven’t found a place!!! I go to work, come home and I’m by myself. On the weekend I do nothing because no one is free or there’s no invites and when I am invited It’s 9pm and I’m an hour away and in a hole of loneliness I struggle to bring myself out of. Im frustrated! I want to cry! I want to feel like I matter and I mean something to someone! I know I do but why do I have to be the one on the outside all the time? I feel so disconnected from everything and it’s like I’ll never find my way back to feeling sure
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Did anyone else follow likeneelyohara on tumblr.com? I started using tumblr.com when I was like 15 and I thought her blog was the absolute best. Her avatar thing was some chick in underwear but just her crotch and the undies were white with red piping on the edges and it said something on the crotch idk what can’t remember. But I do remember being like 16 and really lonely coz I had no friends but I would use tumblr and just repost shit off Flickr like nature pics and I would set up a queue so I always was posting lol. That was when everyone had names like la-fleurs or just random words in another language they didn’t speak. Pretty sure I deleted that and then made this acc to sad post about my hectic mess of a first relationship. ANYWAY I have been reading valley of the dolls and I’m like oh wow Neely O’Hara was a character in this book. Also I’m going thru a depressive episode Rn and I took some oxy I have left over from my surgery coz I just am so not feeling myself or this week or my day or anything and I just wanted to eat hjs and watch stath let’s flats. Feeling literally like Neely O’Hara tho. About to be committed for the sleep cure but really stuck in the psych ward for a year
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